There is no definition under the term “good mom.” That’s because every mother is doing her job differently and to the best of her ability. Being a mom can be tough! It can also be hard to keep your cool.
How do you stay calm in a world of endless laundry and tantrums? Believe us when we say it is possible! With these 20 tips, you’ll be on your way to a calmer and more collected approach to your day, one that will benefit both you and your children.
Here are the top 20 tips for becoming a calm mom:
1. Put Yourself First
Mothers tend to give, give, give, and never take. It is an innate habit that can run an individual down. Keep in mind mothers, that you cannot pour from an empty cup!
That being said, always make sure to make time for yourself and your own needs. By doing so, you will be more capable of giving your children the proper attention and energy you always want to provide them with.
Take care of yourself and put yourself first, so that you can be at your best for your family. Whether it’s a few hours at the spa or simple getaway in the bathtub—take this time. It is important.
2. Practice Saying Yes
As parents, it’s common to get into the habit of saying “No” or “Be Quiet” before you even have time to think. It’s a natural reaction sometimes, especially when children are doing everything they can to get more attention.
The problem with saying no so often is that it tends to lose its authority. Not only that, but parents stop considering that they might be able to say “Yes!”
It’s great to exercise your ability to say yes. After all, children usually aren’t asking for anything too crazy, and you might even benefit from saying yes to whatever they’re asking for. Give it a try—spend a day avoiding the word “No,” and saying yes more often.
3. Put Your Children Before All the Little Things
Make a promise to yourself that you will always put your children before all of the little things. This is important because too often mothers begin to put off time with their children when they’re stressed about getting other things done.
The laundry can wait, and the dishes can, too. By telling yourself that you will always put your children first before all of these little tedious things can help you to keep focused on what matters. In the end, it can help you to feel calmer and more in control of how you’re using your time.
4. Give Yourself A Few Minutes in the Morning
Before you get up and start your day, take a few minutes to yourself. During this time, it’s helpful to visualize how your day is going to go, including the great things that will happen.
Visualize your children behaving, visualize everyone getting along, and get yourself excited about the excellent day that is to come. Having a positive outlook indeed can manifest a better outcome, and it will help you to start in a happier, more optimistic mindset.
If things didn’t go well during your day, head to bed, visualizing how the next day will go. As you train yourself, you will start to see your thoughts turn into reality.
5. Admit Your Mistakes
A mother can’t keep her cool in every single situation. Children know how to push our buttons, and it’s hard to stay calm when all you want to do is explode.
If you do have a slip-up in front of your children, you can use it as a great learning lesson for both of you. Never walk away and leave things as they are—you must admit your mistake and apologize for lashing out.
By doing this, you demonstrate to your child that even adults make mistakes and that it’s okay. Additionally, being a grown-up and apologizing for your behavior will inevitably encourage your children to do the same when they make their own mistakes.
6. Stop Comparing Your Life to Others
In this technological world, it is so easy to compare your life to others. It is so important for mothers to keep in mind that social media pages are only showing the highlights of people’s lives, and the ugly truths are never shown.
Never compare yourself to these unrealistic representations of life. Not only will you likely feel bad about yourself, but you may feel as though you’re failing as a mother.
To remain a calm mother, you must be willing to accept that the things you see online aren’t necessarily real. It’s also important to acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can, and that is enough!
Don’t compare your life to others. Take the time to note all of the great things you’re doing for your family, and why you’re grateful for the life you have. Avoid social media as much as you can and never compare your life to others.
7. Take a Breath
It can be so easy to head into an argument or temper tantrum ready to explode. However, if you want to be a calm mother, it’s essential to practice reasonable behavioral control.
Before you head into something with a hot head, take a moment to take a deep breath. Listen to your breath, calm yourself, and find control in your emotions. This can do wonders for you since it is easier to listen and focus on the problem at hand when you’re calm and collected.
8. There is Always Time
To be a calm mother, you need to have time on your side. To do this, you must practice telling yourself that there is always enough time, instead of stressing yourself out about not having enough.
It’s hard to maintain this mindset, but it is so vital to helping you stay calm and feel more in control of your day. Promise yourself that there is enough time for everything and that you will get all of your tasks completed.
Make time your friend, or else you will begin to feel more stressed and frustrated when time goes too quickly or too slowly. Keep your nerves in check by practicing positive confirmations about the time you have.
9. Ditch the Phone
Our phones can be a huge factor in our lives. They stop us from paying attention to the things that matter, and they often suck us into losing a lot of time.
If you notice that you’re on your phone way too much, your children will often be the ones that feel its effects. We’re less “available” when we’re on our phones, and much less dedicated to quality time with our loved ones.
Avoid this with an easy solution: turn off the phone, and experience real life. Set the alarm on your phone that tells you when you’ve used up your designated time, then get rid of it for the night.
Staying off your phone means better focus, better sleep, and a more positive mindset. There are no disadvantages to this.
10. Grab Some Beneficial Books
When you set time aside for yourself, make sure you have an excellent book to read! There are all kinds of amazing books out there that can teach you something new, help you with parenting, or inspire you to live your best life.
Reading is a great way to help with your calmness, and it keeps your brain sharp, too. If you’re planning to do some reading, you might even invite your kids to join you with their books. This is a great family activity.
11. Get Your Exercise
Exercise is beneficial for everyone for so many reasons. There are a plethora of reasons that mothers should take time out of their day for activity, including the fact that it can be a mother’s social time, and her chance to let off some stress.
In addition, exercise releases endorphins that will help you feel more positive and relaxed when you get home. It also reduces the chance of injuries and helps you to feel strong and in control of your body.
If you can, invite other mothers to join you for some exercise. This can be a great way to ensure you’re getting in some adult talk during the day.
12. Practice Gratitude
There are so many things to be grateful for in life, but they are often overshadowed by the things we do not have. Not only that, but we tend to think about the things we don’t have continually, and they only become worse.
To be a calm mother, change your mindset. Make a list each day of the things you’re thankful for, either on paper or in your head. Say thank you for those amazing things in your life, and you will immediately feel more grateful and blessed.
Focusing on what we do not have only brings us more loss; concentrating on what we have and are grateful for will bring more of those good things.
Be grateful for everything you can think of: A roof over your head, hot water for your shower, a sunny day, and healthy children. Things could always be much, much harder.
13. Show Gratitude for Each Other
Some days it just feels like everyone wants to argue with everyone. Siblings are quarreling, spouses are short with one another, and the weather is gloomy from morning until night.
In these instances, it’s hard not to feel defeated. However, a calm mother will always recognize what is going on in this situation. She will encourage her family to sit together for a moment of gratitude.
Have everyone sit down together and talk about what they love about their family members. In most cases, children have no desire to hold a grudge or argue. In most cases, they will love the option to practice kindness, and they will much prefer a happy home with everyone getting along.
14. Get Your Rest
Just like it’s important to take time for yourself, a calm mother should also take time for rest! As hard as it is, mothers must halt tasks for the day and head to bed at a decent hour each night.
By avoiding sleep, humans are unable to function at their highest level. Not only that, but you’ll have a harder time focusing, getting things done, and maintaining a good mood the next day.
Instead of finishing the laundry or doing those last dishes, head to bed, and put chores out of your mind until tomorrow. No mother can perform at her best when she is groggy, unhealthy, or feeling stressed. Try to set the alarm each night that signals bedtime for the adults.
15. Use Affirmations
A mind is a powerful tool, so start using it to your advantage! Practice positive affirmations about yourself every day, and you will see those words turn into real results.
?Whenever you have a moment, tell yourself: I am a good mother, I am patient, I am loving. Say whatever you need to hear that day, and repeat it as much as you need to. Affirmations are a godsend to staying calm and positive.
16. Have a Plan
If you want to be a calm mom, then you’ll need a plan. This plan is what you can put into motion when the kids are misbehaving, or when you’re starting to feel like you’re losing control.
Create plans for all of the various scenarios in your life that can push you over the edge. If the kids start to act up, read through your game plan and put it into action. If you’re feeling tested, begin to apply a method that makes you feel calm and less stressed.
Knowing there is a plan in place can help you to feel more prepared before things spiral out of control.
17. Eat Well
You want your kids to have a healthy, balanced diet, but what about you? Your needs are just as urgent, so you should always make time for healthy meals.
Meal prep can sometimes be a godsend for busy families, who work together on a particular day of the week prepping meals for the next few days. This way, everyone is sure to have a healthy meal waiting for them regardless of their schedule.
18. Work with Your Spouse
It can be tough to be a calm mom when your spouse isn’t on your side. Being a team is so important; it makes parenting more natural and provides that extra support when you need it.
Make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page about big things, including how to discipline your children. When you have someone in your corner, stressful events can seem more manageable.
19. Ask for Help
Being a good parent does not mean doing everything by yourself. A great parent is someone who recognizes when they need help, and they actively seek it out for themselves and their children.
If you want to be a calm mother, be sure to ask for help as often as you need it. This way, you can get the support you need, and you won’t feel quite as overwhelmed by your current situation.
20. Reward Yourself
After each day, reflect on all of the good things that happened. Even if there was a stressful event, focus on the right choices you made, and the beautiful things your children did or said.
Go to bed feeling good about some of the choices you made, and reflect on how you can improve others. This way, you’ll go to bed feeling optimistic that the next day will be even better.
Calm is a Mindset
Parents lose their cool—it’s a normal fact of life. However, being a calmer parent is a relatively simple task if you can recognize the signs of stress and respond appropriately.
Stay in-tune with yourself and your children. Recognize when problems might occur, and try to solve them quickly. No one is perfect, but you can take action to make each day a little easier.